Sports Haiku

Laura spent the night last night, and in front of a fire we wrote sports haiku and limericks. Here are the ones we captured.

Fat man eats his “dogs”
As he cheers for his Cubbies
He leaves the field sad.

Flies buzz in their ears
A hot Sunday afternoon
Energy is low.

6-2 home team wins
Team bows down to the pitcher
Joyous are the fans

Her son has just struck
Out and she cheers. “What?” she asks.
“It was a great pitch!”

“Am I the snack mom?”
My husband is the coach and
He didn’t tell me.

The crowd fell quiet.
He bit Evander’s ear off?
Tyson. Oh, Tyson.

Dinner making commentary

Me: OK, this chili is officially turning into beef stew.
E: That's ok, beef stew has more Flav-a-Flav.
I respond with a laugh.
E: What, is Flav-a-Flav a dirty rapper?
Me: No, it's just that I think he is so ugly. Doesn't he have a grill and relaxed hair? I hate the way relaxed hair looks.
E: Is Relaxed Hair something that can be controlled? (She thought it was some sort of medical condition...)

Is it hard to be on a different calendar?

I read today that Ethiopia doesn't use the Gregorian calendar, and that today it is 1998 there.

An hour a day

The Boy stopped in the park on the way home to play with a rocket launcher some neighbors were sharing. "Meet me at home in 10 minutes," I shouted.

When we got home, the Boy said, "Mom, I think I should have one a hour a day all to myself, when I can do anything I want. That means 7 each week for me, and 161 for you. I figured out the math for you, too."

I think this is a great idea. I am going to have 7 hours each week for me, too! At least one of them will be with Claudia in the yoga studio.

Will I ever have 7 for reading? Pleasure reading? Doubtful. How many hours do I actually have left, I wonder? Better put a 0 down for pleasure reading now and come back to that later.

And let's not forget 40 for the Man, and I don't mean Jakus. Oh, and 56 for sleepy time.

Jon Stewart gets 3.5, Charlie Rose is sharing his 5 with Keith Olberman and the SVU team.

I better call the Boy to figure out how many hours I have left.

What's in a Name?

We have all heard of the twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello, but recently I met a checker named Turlita.

Worse than Latrina!

Ouch!

Party Planning from the Grave

I came up with my first really possible web site of use this weekend at the Chick Cabin Weekend.
As we were talking about everything and nothing, we stumbled on the subect of our own funerals. I remember a women I shared an office with once, telling her lawyer over the phone that he was to put "No deli trays" in her will. Evidently, her funeral was to be of a higher standard of fare.

Heather knows who is doing the music selection. (Fang Bastard, thank you very much.)

But I wondered about those folks who wanted to plan even more details. Maybe, I thought, I could create a web site that would walk people through lots of details (location, tone, food, music, guests, etc.) so that their funerals would be "just so."

BTW, partyplanningfromthegrave.com is still available, so I might just be onto something.